Tag Archives: free kindle book

Pride and Prejudice and Vampires is FREE today and tomorrow!

19 Oct
Click here to download my tasteless, tacky and crude parody for FREE on Kindle today and tomorrow.
PJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly disappointed, plus you may vomit a little in your mouth.

If you are ready to take a jaunt through low-brow inane prose, join Elizabeth Bennet and her vampire family as they disgrace a once-esteemed novel while feasting on toad-faced suitors, servants and orphans. Mmmmm.

Thank goodness for Mr. Darcy, who tries to steer Elizabeth back on script, and preserve whatever dignity is left of Jane Austen’s good name, while at the same time, salivating over Elizabeth Bennet’s huge breasts.

Included in this shameless satire is more rip-snortin’ good fun, a collection of eight short paranormal parodies: The Guide to Immortal Sex; The PMS Vampire, Werewolf and Zombie Handbook; Melvin the Vacuum Salesman Zombie; and a few other nameless, tasteless short stories.

What are you waiting for? Either buy the book or get out now before you suffer permanent brain damage.

*** Praise for Pride and Prejudice and Vampires ***

From Jane Austen: This book motivated me to return from beyond the veil of mortality so that I might smack PJ Jones upside the head.

From PJ Jones’ neighbor’s dead cat: I can’t believe I wasted one of my nine lives reading this book.

From Melvin the zombie: Brains. Books. Brains.

From the flasher in the Safeway parking lot: Come a little closer. I’ve got something else for you to read.

From the sanitation truck driver in PJ’s neighborhood: I knew there was a strange smell coming from PJ’s house.

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Happy Beltane! Download your FREE Celtic anthology

2 May
Download your Kindle copy today and tomorrow for FREE.
Six stories from The Eclective, six accounts of Celtic things. There’s more than one way to go Green.
Irish Kiss by Shéa MacLeod Morgan Bailey, vampire Hunter, thought finding a Leprechaun’s missing pot of gold would be easy. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
The Luck of the Irish Brigade by M. Edward McNally The Irish are fighting themselves, only because there are no other worthy opponents.
Song of the Banshee by Heather Marie Adkins Belinda has a job to do, but a dying man’s grandson may be a big problem. It’s a hard world for a lonely banshee.
The Red Veil of Vengeance by Jack Wallen Vlad Kurvail is back and, as usual, he’s pissed. This time his cold vengeance is served up to the Irish. Will their luck hold out?
Zombies Eat Leprechauns by P.J. Jones When a zombie curse infects the Fairytale Kingdom, Lucky the Leprechaun needs the help of an idiot dragon slayer and a cross-dressing dragon to escape. Can he make it out with his pot of gold, or will Lucky’s luck run out?
Five Shamrocks by Alan Nayes After her husband dies on St. Patrick’s Day, life goes on for Mattie O’Malley.

Driving Me Nuts! is FREE today

28 Apr

Well, today is the last day to snag Driving Me Nuts! for FREE. The gracious Shea MacLeod has a sample scene on her blog. To read it, go here. To download your free Kindle copy, go here. Hope you’re having an awesome weekend. The sun is out and the breeze is just perfect in my little slice of Texas.

Oh, and Nuts! now has 15 reviews and a 4.6 star rating! Thanks readers!

Driving Me Nuts! Three mental patients, two loaded guns, one stolen car, and a whole lot of trouble…