Tag Archives: pride and prejudice

March Mischief Kindle Sale and giveaway!

1 Mar

romance novel.webHey, folks. It’s time for a sale! Why? Because we’re coming on my second year anniversary of being a published indie author. To celebrate, I’m giving away all of my Amazon Kindle books for .99.  Some are even FREE!

If you walk around with a large stick shoved up your ass or are easily offended, this sale might not be for you. If you are looking for some raunchy, rip snortin’ fun, then download a PJ Jones’ book today. You (probably) won’t regret it!

And LOOKIE! NAUGHTY LITTLE SCHNITZEL is back by (sort of) popular demand.  It’s only got seven bad reviews. I know there have to be more easily offended readers readers out there, right? 

schnitzel.webVisit my Amazon author page for more great deals.

Books and short stories by PJ Jones:

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 BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT ALL! DURING THE MONTH OF MARCH, I’LL BE GIVING AWAY SIGNED COPIES OF EITHER DRIVING ME NUTS! OR ATTACK OF THE FAIRYTALE ZOMBIES! TO THREE LUCKY READERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ANSWER MY QUESTION AND LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW TO ENTER FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN. QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR LAUGHS?

Good luck, and thanks for stopping by.

** Signed books are available for US residents. International residents are eligible for free book downloads.

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Pride and Prejudice and Vampires is FREE today and tomorrow!

19 Oct
Click here to download my tasteless, tacky and crude parody for FREE on Kindle today and tomorrow.
PJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly disappointed, plus you may vomit a little in your mouth.

If you are ready to take a jaunt through low-brow inane prose, join Elizabeth Bennet and her vampire family as they disgrace a once-esteemed novel while feasting on toad-faced suitors, servants and orphans. Mmmmm.

Thank goodness for Mr. Darcy, who tries to steer Elizabeth back on script, and preserve whatever dignity is left of Jane Austen’s good name, while at the same time, salivating over Elizabeth Bennet’s huge breasts.

Included in this shameless satire is more rip-snortin’ good fun, a collection of eight short paranormal parodies: The Guide to Immortal Sex; The PMS Vampire, Werewolf and Zombie Handbook; Melvin the Vacuum Salesman Zombie; and a few other nameless, tasteless short stories.

What are you waiting for? Either buy the book or get out now before you suffer permanent brain damage.

*** Praise for Pride and Prejudice and Vampires ***

From Jane Austen: This book motivated me to return from beyond the veil of mortality so that I might smack PJ Jones upside the head.

From PJ Jones’ neighbor’s dead cat: I can’t believe I wasted one of my nine lives reading this book.

From Melvin the zombie: Brains. Books. Brains.

From the flasher in the Safeway parking lot: Come a little closer. I’ve got something else for you to read.

From the sanitation truck driver in PJ’s neighborhood: I knew there was a strange smell coming from PJ’s house.

Introducing the new zombie killing machine!

29 Sep

So hubs thinks that in bringing a gun home (which costs more than my first car, AND my second car) that I will not be angry if he also includes zombie killing bullets. I have to admit, the bullets with little green tips are pretty kick-ass, BUT it’s an awfully pricey gun and he ain’t no Rambo! Tomorrow we are going to go shoot up some zombie targets. Okay, the zombie target practice sounds kick-ass as well, but I am in NO WAY endorsing spending more on a gun than you would on a car. Zombie target pics to follow. Melvin the Dry Cleaning Zombie had better not try to come around MY house.
Speaking of Melvin the Zombie, he also makes a guest appearance in my newest book, Pride and Prejudice and Vampires releasing in October. He’s not actually in THAT story, but included in a bonus selection of short stories in the back. Can’t you just wait?