Tag Archives: vampire romance

Pride and Prejudice and Vampires is FREE today and tomorrow!

19 Oct
Click here to download my tasteless, tacky and crude parody for FREE on Kindle today and tomorrow.
PJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly disappointed, plus you may vomit a little in your mouth.

If you are ready to take a jaunt through low-brow inane prose, join Elizabeth Bennet and her vampire family as they disgrace a once-esteemed novel while feasting on toad-faced suitors, servants and orphans. Mmmmm.

Thank goodness for Mr. Darcy, who tries to steer Elizabeth back on script, and preserve whatever dignity is left of Jane Austen’s good name, while at the same time, salivating over Elizabeth Bennet’s huge breasts.

Included in this shameless satire is more rip-snortin’ good fun, a collection of eight short paranormal parodies: The Guide to Immortal Sex; The PMS Vampire, Werewolf and Zombie Handbook; Melvin the Vacuum Salesman Zombie; and a few other nameless, tasteless short stories.

What are you waiting for? Either buy the book or get out now before you suffer permanent brain damage.

*** Praise for Pride and Prejudice and Vampires ***

From Jane Austen: This book motivated me to return from beyond the veil of mortality so that I might smack PJ Jones upside the head.

From PJ Jones’ neighbor’s dead cat: I can’t believe I wasted one of my nine lives reading this book.

From Melvin the zombie: Brains. Books. Brains.

From the flasher in the Safeway parking lot: Come a little closer. I’ve got something else for you to read.

From the sanitation truck driver in PJ’s neighborhood: I knew there was a strange smell coming from PJ’s house.

Morgan Bailey, Vampire Hunter-Get it while it’s HOT!!!

2 Oct

Happy Release Day! to the uber talented, Shéa MacLeod, whose steamy vampire hunter stories have been ‘revamped’ and rereleased by Amazon’s imprint, Montlake Romance. Click HERE for the Amazon purchase link. Book one, Kissed by Darkness, releases today. Books two and three will release later this year. All issues will have new scenes, so even if you’ve read them before, you’re sure to find the books are even better.

Shéa MacLeod is PROOF that indie authors are achieving success. Go Shéa!!!

 

Kissed by Darkness:

Three years ago, Morgan Bailey narrowly survived a vampire attack that left her with heightened senses, uncanny speed, and a new calling: supernatural bounty hunter. Since that day, sexy, street-smart Morgan hasn’t met a vampire she couldn’t dust or a demon she couldn’t kill—until she’s hired to hunt down a priceless amulet and the sunwalker who stole it. Sunwalkers—powerful vampires immune to sunlight—are notoriously difficult to find, let alone kill. Still, a job’s a job, and Morgan’s never been one to shy away from a challenge. So bring it on…right?

But the sunwalker ends up tracking her down. And not only that, he turns out to be cunning, charming—and undeniably gorgeous. Nevertheless, she can’t ignore the destruction he is capable of: the sunwalker possesses an ancient secret which, if unleashed, could destroy the human world. Captivating and fantastical, Kissed by Darkness introduces a kick-ass new heroine and an addictive new series for fans of urban fantasy.