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Exposed! Hillary Clinton’s Secret Emails

7 Aug

Ready for a rip-snortin’ parody? Welll, here you go. Out on Kindle now. Expected print release, 8.15.15.

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Exposed! Hillary Clinton’s Secret Emails digs deep into her private correspondence from the time she and her husband left the White House to when someone finally had enough balls to complain she was jeopardizing national security. PJ reassures her readers these emails are the real deal. She got them from the Chinese guy who delivers her take-out, and everyone knows the Chinese are great at three things: sweet and sour pork, math, and hacking computers.

Does Hillary get slammed in this parody? Absolutely. But no liberal or conservative is safe. PJ Jones pokes fun of people from both ends of the political spectrum, bringing everyone together for a rip-snorting laugh (although she’ll settle for a few smiles and maybe some accidental flatulence).

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***Warning***
This book is not intended for…
Stupid people. Not pointing any fingers (Jonathan Gruber).
People with weak hearts, stomachs, or bladders.
People with politically correct yardsticks wedged up their asses.
This book is intended for…
People who live in Colorado and like brownies.
People with a crude and outrageous sense of humor.
People who think apathetic and corrupt politicians are a joke.

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The Apocalypse Collection and Fishing with Sasquatch is here!!!

6 Dec

Yes, I have to look up ‘apocalypse’ every time I spell it, but none of that matters, because I’ve got exciting news! This week I’ve got not one, but two, book releases! Fishing With Sasquatch will be FREE on Kindle December 7th and 8th, so be sure to get your copy!

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Cover designed by Tara West at http://www.tarawest.com .

The Apocalypse Collection is a collection of short stories from my Eclective peeps for just .99. Grab your copy HERE before it’s no longer on sale, or before the world ends, whichever comes first.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and the Eclective feels fine.

The Shifting Sands by Tara West: When a jealous goddess threatens to destroy all of humanity, a young woman and her family must overcome impossible odds to survive.

Light by Emma Jameson: In the zombie apocalypse, the hope for humanity’s survival is pinned on Daniel. Unfortunately, Daniel is an android. And humanity may be past all hope…

Alien Butt Plugs by PJ Jones: The aliens are coming! And Jeb’s first line of defense may be worse than the anal probe he fears.

Seeds by M. Edward McNally: For Meats and his fellow Guns, life was simple. Keep your respirator clear, your weapon ready, and an eye on your neighbors. Until one day Meats found some seeds, and everything got complicated.

Cleavers by Heather Marie Adkins: Creatures such as the Cleavers should never exist. But in Tora’s world, they’re real, and death is more likely than survival.

The Last Christmas by Alan Nayes: On the verge of the Apocalypse, a young couple wish to spend one last Christmas together.

Combustion by RG Porter: Kate wakes to find her world scorched and survivors in short supply. She needs to unravel the cause before time runs out.

Fishing With Sasquatch is also a short story collection, but all the stories are written by yours truly. Most are crude and rude, but one is just plain weird. You can get your copy HERE!

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Cover designed by Tara West at http://www.tarawest.com .

Warning: PJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly disappointed, plus you may vomit a little in your mouth.

Fishing with Sasquatch: Life is good for Reb the Redneck. After being acquitted for murder, he’s ready to grab life by the horns … until a lonely lady sasquatch grabs him by something else!

Included in this parody collection are seven more weird, short stories: Zombie Santa VS. Hannibal Lecter, Kate Gosselin VS. Sasquatch, The Walking Tree, Sasquatch Goes Vegan, Kim Khardashian VS. Cupid, Love, Death and erectile Dysfunction, and Love in a Bottle.

***Nearly Legitimate Reviews for Fishing With Sasquatch***

From PJ Jones’ imaginary friend: Cue the banjo music! It’s another rude, crude, side-splitting parody from PJ Jones.

From PJ Jones’ neighbor’s dead cat: I can’t believe I wasted one of my nine lives reading this book.

From Melvin the zombie: Brains. Books. Brains.

From the flasher in the Safeway parking lot: Come a little closer. I’ve got something else for you to read.

From the sanitation truck driver in PJ’s neighborhood: I knew there was a strange smell coming from PJ’s house.

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And as a special holiday bonus for my readers, all of my books will be .99 all December long! Check out my author page, HERE for a complete selection. Happy reading and good luck with the apocalypse!

Introducing the new zombie killing machine!

29 Sep

So hubs thinks that in bringing a gun home (which costs more than my first car, AND my second car) that I will not be angry if he also includes zombie killing bullets. I have to admit, the bullets with little green tips are pretty kick-ass, BUT it’s an awfully pricey gun and he ain’t no Rambo! Tomorrow we are going to go shoot up some zombie targets. Okay, the zombie target practice sounds kick-ass as well, but I am in NO WAY endorsing spending more on a gun than you would on a car. Zombie target pics to follow. Melvin the Dry Cleaning Zombie had better not try to come around MY house.
Speaking of Melvin the Zombie, he also makes a guest appearance in my newest book, Pride and Prejudice and Vampires releasing in October. He’s not actually in THAT story, but included in a bonus selection of short stories in the back. Can’t you just wait?

Here’s my new blog!

13 Apr

This is my new blog. My old blog sucked! I’m tired of spam, trojans, and paying for something that is such a pain in the ass.

Please be patient as I update this site.

In the meantime, Driving Me Nuts! now has 14 reviews and a 4.6 average rating. THANKS READERS!!!